I just celebrated a big birthday, 30 years old! Definitely had a “Joey Tribbiani” moment. If you watch Friends, you know what I’m talking about 😂 But after my moment of panic, I reflected back on the last ten years of my life and I’m so grateful. In my 20s, I experienced heartbreak, living off the dollar menu, friends exiting my life, and dealing with disappointment on numerous occasions when I didn’t get the job I wanted.. But I also met new people who I call life-long friends, learned what it’s like to live on my own, found my God given calling, and freakin touched Justin Timberlake’s hand!
For this post, I wanted to share a few “gold nuggets” I learned in my 20s. Anyone who has been in their 20s knows what a difficult time that can be when you’re trying to discover who you are, what career you want, and the life you want to live. Your 20s are all about making decision after decision. If you’re reading this and that’s you, I pray this encourages you and puts you at ease. If you’re passed that age range, read along and take a trip down memory lane.
People are like seasons.
The great Kanye West rapped a lyric that goes, “People in your life are seasons… and anything that happens is for a reason.” No words have ever been more true. (People who know me and my love for Yeezy are probably rolling their eyes right now lol). What I’ve learned in my 20s is that people come and people go. Some serve a purpose to make you better while others teach you lessons. There are people along for the long haul and others who will fall off. This was tough for me because I grew up with the same group of good friends since elementary so I didn’t know what it was like to have a falling out with someone or a person be detrimental for my life that I had to remove them. Just like seasons, we’re constantly changing and I truly believe God brings the people we need in those times in our life.
You don’t know everything.
Pretty self-explanatory 😉 You’re adulthood has just begun. Instead of going off of what you think would be best, invite a few people who are further along to speak into your life. I didn’t have any mentors or leaders until my later 20s and I wish I would have sought them out sooner. Some mistakes are necessary, but some can be prevented through the guidance of someone who has already been through it.
It’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Because you don’t know everything, don’t freak out if you don’t have your life mapped out. Have some goals, but know that you are changing and figuring out what you want in life that you are probably going to change your mind a million times. I changed my major four times in college and graduated with the one I began with 😂 I also moved all around San Antonio in the ten years I’ve lived here (sorry Dad) and have had numerous jobs. There’s nothing wrong with exploring different options until you find what suits you.
Your upbringing does not have to define who you are and who you are becoming.
I grew up with a father who was addicted to drugs which caused me to see a lot of things no child should ever have to see or experience, but I didn’t let that hinder me from building a life of my own. I could have easily played into the victim mentality, but I wanted better for myself and anyone who was going to be in my future. I’m blessed that my dad is now drug free and our relationship is restored, but if you still struggle with childhood trauma, know that that doesn’t have to be your identity or carry on. You can choose to get healing and let that only be a chapter of your life. You have the power to change how the story ends.
To love myself and be content with who God made me to be.
I met Jesus and began a relationship with Him when I was 23. It was then that I found my true identity. It wasn’t easy loving myself before Jesus and can even be a bit of a struggle now on some days, but I’m secure in who He’s made me to be. I used to let the words of others shape who I thought I was and let society set the standard of what I should look like. I’ve allowed Jesus to mend those areas and have let His words saturate deep down into my heart to feel that security. I think now, more than ever, I feel comfortable in my own skin.
Although I’m not where I thought I’d be in life, I’m also amazed at the journey God has brought me on. If you’re reading this today and you’re in your 20s feeling lost, in-between jobs, or still trying to figure out what the heck is going on, know you are not alone. You have plenty of time so don’t be in such a rush to get somewhere or feel the need that you “have to arrive” by accomplishing “this or that” by a certain age (hello, preaching to myself a bit). One regret I do have is not being more spontaneous and enjoying the ride. Your 20s are a perfect opportunity to try new things, take that trip, start that blog 😉 and just live life to the fullest!
I hear the 30’s are the new 20’s. I’m excited to see where God leads me in the next few years!